Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
