with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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