thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
When did angry sex become our thing?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
