im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
