some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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