Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
