Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My day in three words: secret purse cake
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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