I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
