So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
