Did you just see the Batmobile???
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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