Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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