he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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