we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
