DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
