JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
