he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
