new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
