My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Actions speak louder than pants.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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