wanna go halves on a baby?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize
