They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i think my cat just said my name.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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