my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize