even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
