I swear she didn't look like that last week.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
