6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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