Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
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