the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smelled like a LAN party
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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