positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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