We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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