I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
