A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
