hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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