i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
