He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
