Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
