No stitches, just platelets and will power
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Farmville is her only friend.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
