i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
