Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
