My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Drunk is a universal language darling
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