As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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