Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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