haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
