I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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