OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
