Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
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I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
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Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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