Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
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