Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
