Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We're too hungover to prance.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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