take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize