During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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