Well apparently he's into motor boating.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
