Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
