the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
