whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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