Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
