I puked a lego.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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