I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
