so explain again why im purple
no
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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